Netflix recently released a movie, Stutz, about a relationship between Jonah Hill and his therapist, Phil Stutz. He has an unorthodox approach to therapy, like telling clients to “shut the **** up, and do exactly what I tell you” (with obvious humour and affection). While I don’t agree with all of Stutz’s perspectives, he had some pretty cool ways of translating ideas that I often try to convey to my clients. One of them is the idea of Life Force.
Clients who feel depressed or stuck in their lives usually either lack a sense of direction, or have ideas but find themselves without vital energy to pursue them.
These folks are often trying to go on a road trip without fuel in their vehicle. Stutz would say that the fuel is our Life Force, without it trying to seek out a destination is just an exercise in futility, and can keep us from addressing the most important first step—fuelling up.
If this is you, stop waiting to have some grand direction or purpose. You can work on your Life Force right now. It’s not optional if you want to feel better.
Relationship to Body:
- Moving your body every day, ideally before 3pm
- Eating mostly whole foods. Removing most processed foods. Eating enough macro- and micro-nutrients
- Creating the ideal conditions for sleep, with regularity in the schedule
- Removing most of the cheap dopamine—a healthy and limited relationship with media
Relationship to Others:
- Seeing friends/family regularly in-person
- Having someone you can talk to about what you are thinking/ feeling
- Helping/ being responsible for others
Relationship to Self:
- Responding to your struggles with Self-Compassion
- Responding to your efforts with Self-Appreciation
- Taking non-distracted time to be with thoughts/ feelings
- Build awareness of your subconscious struggles/ desires
When these elements of the Life Force pyramid are nourished, a drive pursue interests, passions, or projects will follow naturally. Also, taking care of these fundamentals will provide a sense of purpose in and of itself.
Remember, a purpose or mission doesn’t have to be some global revolution. It’s simply something to move toward, a set of stars that imbue our lives with energy. They can be as simple as a hobby, a new step in our career, our relationships with our loved ones, a spiritual journey, or whatever else feels important. For the vast majority of us, these small things are what make up a meaningful life.